Monday, November 06, 2006

Just bitchin'

I have nothing knitting related to post. I have only been doing a few rows here and there, so there is little progress to report. I am bogged down with school.

I really don't want to be in school. It gets in the way of my life. I am bored by my classes. I many respects, I am "doing over" things I did to get my first BA.

I know that sounds like a bit of a pity party, and it is. I am honest. The thing is, I want to work and get paid well for the work I do (let's face it, my job is work, but I am paid pretty poorly). My life may be one of wanting to have my cake and eat it too.

Honestly, I feel like I could be out doing someone somewhere some good, but I am back in school spinning my wheels. It is depressing. I don't want anything grand. Just a job that uses my skills, educations, and talents with pay that at least honors the fact that I work to pay bills and buy food.

I don't post. I don't work out how to do all the patterns I have in my head. My life is getting in the way of my knitting. I just can't seem to find my way out of the fog of doubt and unease.

So, I'll trudge on and hope that I am doing the right thing.

Thanks for reading. I feel a little better now.

Happier Knitting!


Punkin said...

All the things you said made sense. It sounds like you feel heavy - like the world went from color to black and white. I remember being oh so very done with college before I was actually finished and trudging through to completion. I hope you find a way to get some color back in your life - and start to knit and design again. Wish I could say something to make you feel better.

SalemRose said...

Hey chica, why have cake if you can't eat it??? I never understand that! Who just wants to look at it? Anyway, while massage school is quite different I understand what you mean and I know how you feel. It sounds like you really need a massage. Lets set something up okay.

Pagan Hooker said...

I kinda know how you feel. While I don't get paid crap, it's sad that I get paid what I do for all the crap I have to go through some days. And I'm sick of people telling me that I should go to nursing school if I want to make more money. Why should I go back to school to learn all this stuff that I already know. Just because medics don't get a degree doesn't mean we aren't trained.